Reflection

"I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think that you think that I am." I was going to use this for a reflection on "reflection"...something about how the "mirror" a person looks into isn't always an accurate reflection. As I searched for the author of the quote, however, I discovered so many people with the same thoughts that I had.....it made me feel really pathetic and unoriginal. Then, to realize that at forty, I have no more self-esteem than I had at 14...is that possible? Anyone from my school days or college reading this would think, "Good grief! She still hasn't got her act together!" I guess my thoughts when I started with this quote were really about the inaccuracies of my perceptions. I often THINK someone thinks something about me that they really weren't thinking at all. This must be why my husband says I think too much. I am headed to an "International" conference next week for jazz educators. Are the people that I meet going to think I'm old, boring and fat? Do I really think those things about myself? If I do, why don't I do something about it? If I don't think those things, why would I think that others might? And....does it really matter what others think? I wish I had enough self-esteem to be fully confident in a WYSIWYG theory. Just be bold, true to myself and "what you see is what you get."